Dear Large Baptist church,
First I want to thank you for giving me so many great friendships. Some of them mean everything to me and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I also want to thank you for some of the morals that you have instilled in me. The way I think today is mostly because of my upbringing within your classes.
With that said, I am truly f***** up because of it as well. Now that I am grown and have the capability to think for myself, I realize that I am constantly at war with myself. I now know that some of your teachings are good but most are completely false and have been distorted over time by men with the desire for power and money (Also with a strong since of anti-Semitism, but we don’t talk about that do we) but I still have a hard time dealing with things that I once thought to be ungodly and now know that is just means opinion and interpretation. You teach people things because you believe them to be true which I respect because everyone is entitled to their opinion. Also because you were taught them in school, I should know, I also went to “bible college”(Which is a whole can of worms unto itself).
People don’t question you anymore and when they do it’s a lack of faith. I am very close to my Father but in your eyes I wouldn’t be because I don’t do things the way you do them. The fact that you teach that YOU have the truth is laughable because you don’t know that for sure. There is a truth but until that final day it is all by faith. But lets divide his kingdom for our opinion. Lets go to war and kill and slander each other for our opinion. Its ridiculous! When really we could all be wrong.
Also you ruined my marriage. I know that’s harsh and probably not 100% true, but you gave us an expectation of marriage and sex that was unattainable. You teach us very little about sex to begin with, say wait until you are married (cause God said so?), and then when you are married forever and ever sex is awesome…go! So for 21 years I waited. We did everything right (according to you) and then when we were 5 years in and nothing had changed your truth is “suck it up and deal with it, marriage is hard”? F*** you! I want a real marriage, and not a marriage like my parents (like most of your congregations) where they hate each other but they stayed together because “the bible said so”. It’s fake, just like most of your teachings about marriage and sex, which have no backing if you really study the history of it in the bible.
I could go on and on, but I won’t because it won’t do any good. There is so much wrong with religion in general that removing myself all together and being content in living the way I believe my Father desires me to live is enough for me. I’m sorry if this sounds like a hate letter. I used to hate you but I don’t anymore. I’m more understanding that there is a place for you but not in my life. Thanks for the memories but I’ll be letting God take it from here. And if I’m wrong I’ll take my punishment from Him not you.
One who knows you